A Life Changed by Her House.

January 27, 2017 - Uncategorized - 0 Comments

A Life Changed by Her House.

I was a wife, mother of two, fashion designer and Boutique owner, living what seemed on the outside something completely different of what was in the inside. A lifetime of internal turmoil slowly making its way to the surface and completely out of my control. It all started way before any diagnosis or prescription drugs due to childbirth complications that eventually fueled the fire called dual diagnosis bipolar and addiction. Many years of drinking and just apart of life eventually lead to handfuls of pain pills, benzos and muscle relaxers. Trying desperately to figure out what was “wrong” with me lead me to even more self destruction. Nobody wants to live a life of suffering or pain felt by the hurt you have unwilling inflicted onto those around you and those you love. A battle you cannot win by your will alone no matter how good and noble your intentions might be. I tell you this because I know, I tried. It took me going in and out of ers, mental institutions, ruining my marriage, my business, being told I couldn’t be around my children unsupervised, homeless addicted to heroin and meth and a psychotic break before I got the help that I needed. I was dead emotionally, mentally, spiritually with only the breath in my lungs when I called His house/New creation.

My story is one of life after death. Survival of the fittest or the pitifully hopeless? I sat at the bottomless bottom, digging myself deeper and trusting no one. Living a life outside addition did not seem to be an option for me, my mental health would never allow it. How can you trust and believe in anything outside of the darkness that is your existence? You cant, you won’t and you don’t. Only a momentary glimpse of just maybe and a leap of faith helped me make that phone call and my gratitude for the help I have received, unmeasurable. How do you thank those that have given you life outside of your expectations? I came in not only mentally unstable but strung out on drugs. And would have continued going through the never ending revolving door of a slow and painful death had I not made that phone call. Today everything is possible because of the help I have received from his house/new creation. And for that I have no words.

J.M.