March 8, 2017 - Uncategorized - 0 Comments
My name is Ranay. My sobriety date is October 23, 2015. I am an alcoholic and drug addict. My life before recovery was uncertain, dangerous, and marked with desperation and an absolute void of any will to live. I knew I was set to die (sooner, rather than later) from my addiction and I succumbed to the stark reality of a life begun with much potential, inevitably ending mired in squalor and wretchedness. What a waste. And I knew it. I was depressed, anxious, and embarrassed.
As a child, I experienced the brutality and trauma of abuse- any and all types. I was not able to ask for help, and I was full of shame. In my young mind, I was being hurt because I was not good. I knew that my home wasn’t like that of the other kids, and I didn’t know why I had to live afraid for my life every day. I buried my pain and anxiety with drugs, alcohol, gambling, work, and relationships. I figured that as long as I had a job, a boyfriend, and an apartment, no one would see that I had a problem with substance abuse. One by one, I would lose all of these. Over and over again. When I started having seizures, I succumbed to the fact that I had to have a certain amount of drugs and alcohol in my system at all times or I would die. I accepted the fact that I wasn’t long for the world, and anxiously waited, and wanted to die. I wanted off.
After an unsuccessful suicide attempt, I found myself at New Creation Women’s Treatment Center. I didn’t have any experience in recovery and didn’t know it was possible for someone like me. I didn’t know what life (or I) would be like without the use of any drugs or alcohol. With the help of a detox doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, case manager, and my sponsor, I began to trudge the road of happy destiny. I was diagnosed with PTSD, panic disorder, and OCD. I received help from amazing doctors and therapists to help me clear away the wreckage of my past and cope with my status as a clean and sober person with mental health issues. One day at a time, I became more spiritually connected, my self-confidence and courage began to develop, and I started to think about the possibilities for my future. I attended Outpatient Treatment, provided by New Creation, and soon I found out that a satellite campus would be opened close by, so I could attend New Creation College and become a Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor.
Today, I am working in Recovery for His House. I am fulfilled every day by being of service to those who are in the same reckless state of mind, body, and soul that I was just 16 short months ago. I now work alongside those counselors, therapists, doctors, and staff that loved me till I could love myself. I am full of gratitude and joy at the opportunities made possible by adhering to the principals of Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. Today, because with help, I gave myself a chance, I now have friends, a fellowship, and a career that I love. I feel healthier and happier than I have ever felt. And it gets better every day.